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my nice wife

March 28, 2010

I have a really nice wife.  I’m feel really lucky to have this kind of support in my life right now (with impending thesis bearing down on me), and what’s really amazing is that she’s able to give it now, even in a time when she has med school stress of her own.

For a while, I’ve been thinking it’s good that we both have some big academic thing approaching on April 9th, since we’ve been sitting home on the weekends for at least the past month, working till we go to bed.  Neither of us pressuring the other to go out on the town, for instance.  But there’s also the downside, which is that we both need support at a time when our wells are a little dry.  We’ve been really conscious to support each other whenever we can, attacking the mini-crises as they arise.

Anyway, last night was rough for me… I’ve been trying to finish writing my first draft, moving my hoped-for deadline back a little at a time.  There’s a lot to say, and I’m working on the analysis, which is really the whole crux of the paper, so I should have known it would take more than a week.  But still, I’ve been disappointed when the end of a day comes and I haven’t finished.  Combined with a month of hard work without much break, plus a few extra outside obligations, and last night I finally broke down a little.  It was pretty impressive, actually… we had to change the pillowcase.

But beyond just being supportive, helping me breath, telling me I was smart and could do it, etc… I think my favorite moment came when I told her I was disappointed in myself for not finishing yet, and she told me, with a bit of frustration, “Well, maybe you just need to lower your expectations.”  And much to my surprise, instead of being insulted, I felt this huge wash of relief.  What a funny thing to say… especially in America, land of over-achievers, especially to a Leonard, family of over-committed… Anyway, it just ended up being one of the most supportive, loving things she could have said in that moment.  And I love my wife.

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3 comments

  1. aww. you guys are lovely. this all sounds very familiar to me… hang in there! hope to see you on the other side someday soon:)


  2. I love your wife, too! This made me a little misty, love. Hang in there. You are beautiful.


  3. this was really wonderful to read. stick with it. you both are super stars making the galaxy bright and beautiful.



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