Playing dress-up

So, today was a big day in my little world.  The EPA interview I was so excited to get?  Definitely the most nervous I’ve been for an interview yet.  You’d think with all the practice I have, I’d be LESS nervous.  But, unlike the other jobs so far, when I wasn’t even sure if I wanted them, this time I want the job, big time.  As in, “Certainly you designed this job for me, right?”  I mean, it’s not a National Geographic photographer  job, but it is an EJ-focused, well-paid, easy commute, great resume-builder, working with community groups job.   Of course, wanting the job so much more makes the process of applying that much scarier.

So, after a mantra-filled elevator ride (“I am fearless.  I have infinite worth”—  thanks Deepak Chopra!), a few deep breaths as I waited for my interviewers to arrive, and a swig of water (out of my dented “Easter at Sheepdog Hill” water bottle… a little out of place next to my Limited suit coat, but hey- that’s me), the interview started.

Two of my three interviewers were rather chill and fun, while the head honcho was a little more serious.   I had done my prep, and feel pretty confident on EJ in general, so most of the questions I answered easily.  “How do I define EJ?” Piece of cake. “Why am I right for this job?”  Tell me how long you want me to talk!  There were a couple of stumpers, however… like, give me dry-mouth and send my mind racing stumpers… Damn.  One of them I guess I should have seen coming, but I didn’t: what’s a conflict you’ve encountered and how have you dealt with it?  And I’m sitting there, literally UNABLE to think of a conflict I’ve had.  Is it so wrong that my immediate environment is COMPLETELY DEVOID OF CONFLICT? Heh. Heh. Umm…

Anyway, who knows how it went.  Some of the other ones I’ve been sure I nailed, only to get rejections.  This time, I could not get a read off of them, so hey- maybe that’s a good sign.

All in all, it was definitely a strange feeling to put on a tailored suit coat, walk with the hurried crowd of professionals, and go through security before taking the elevator up to the 19^th floor.  I’m more of a chaco-wearing, work-in-a-former-house kinda gal.  But as far removed as it might feel from the on-the-ground community work, I do know there are ways of making great change in the community by working in a powerful position.  So I’d be willing to give it a shot.

Now I just wait (up to a few weeks, she said).   It’s funny… I can see the scene where I find out whether I got the job or not… but I can see both versions: the crushing sense of disappointment and sadness, and the absurd elatedness and excited telling of the wife.  What a feeling to have so little control over the course of my life!  Just how it goes, I suppose…

I wouldn't even THINK about working for the EPA if it weren't for these two fine folk, Lisa P. Jackson and B. Obama! Lisa has really turned the EJ game around.

Photo credit: www.commoncurrent.com

What Good Luck! What Bad Luck!

Last week was full of ups and downs.  It rather reminded me of that Remy Charlip children’s book: What Good Luck! What Bad Luck! Do you remember this one?  It starts like this:

What good luck!
Ned got a letter that said, “Please come to a surprise party.”
What bad luck!
The party was in Florida and he was in New York.
What good luck!
A friend lent him an airplane.
What bad luck!
The motor exploded.

It goes on for some time like this.  And I found myself thinking of it last week as I fielded some job-hunting ups and downs.  It started like this: What Good Luck! I decided to search for more job opportunities on August 30th… and I found two that I really wanted… DUE THAT DAY!  So, I spent a good chunk of time prepping my resume, writing my cover letters, getting them checked by reliable friends, etc.  The next day: What Bad Luck! I got an email from one of them (an acquaintance of mine, actually), saying that they loved seeing my resume, but they really did need someone fluent in Spanish.  Somehow I had convinced myself that I could become fluent on the job (I’m intermediate right now), but no… not so much, they said.

So, I finally decided to check in on the two other jobs I had applied to a few weeks before.  One is for the EPA, and I’ve got an inside source who’s been monitoring the progress for me.  She got back to me and said they should be setting up interviews very soon.  The other was for the Healthy Kids Collaborative, a job that would pay lucratively, and have me working in Providence.  I really thought I nailed my interview, and this was a job for which I had been practically begged to interview…  Yet, when I emailed them to say, “I really enjoyed our conversation, and I’m still very interested in the job, etc”  I got an email back saying “What Bad Luck! We already hired someone for this job!”  (well… something to that effect).

This was a bummer.  Although I don’t think I would have been very happy in this job, I had been considering it my fall-back, since I had been, as I said, strongly encouraged to apply for this job.  But after just a couple hours of feeling sad about my lack of any job prospects, What Good Luck! I got a call from the EPA asking for an interview!  I was thrilled.  When I got out my calendar and asked when they’d like me to come in, though… What Bad Luck! They didn’t want me to interview for two weeks.  Translation: even if you get this job, you won’t be seeing money for at least a month or so.  (What should I have expected? It’s the government).   But THEN, and stick with me here, What Good Luck! I found out that the person who will be interviewing me is someone that I interviewed for my thesis!  This makes me feel much more comfortable, and like I have a demonstrated history of being involved in the topic of the job.  Then, What Good Luck!, I found out that there is a Region-wide EPA conference call two days before my interview about the future of Environmental Justice in the EPA, which means I will be super prepped to talk about EJ at the interview, AND, What Good Luck!, the person we were to RSVP to was the person who will be interviewing me, which means I got another chance to connect with her and demonstrate my interest in the field.

Gosh, this is looking less and less like the book all the time.  Oh, how about What Good Luck! I’ve been thinking I might need part time work while I figure out all this full-time job mess, when I was asked if I could stick around as Garden Coordinator for the Community Garden I work in, for at least another month or more, at 20 hrs a week.  Do I feel weird sticking around Brown after graduating because I can’t find employment? Yes.  Do I want the money and like the work, and thus will be willing to swallow my pride? Abso-freakin-lutely.

So some things are good right now.  Here’s hoping I can keep this narrative going…